Things I know....but don't really know

So I promise to do a photography post soon...
It's 4:50 am, I've been awake since 3:15am, around 4:00am I gave up going back to sleep when my stomach started growling.  I got up went downstairs started a load of laundry (would have unloaded the dish washer if it wasn't such a noisy task of plates and cups clamoring together) and had my breakfast at 4:15am.  Breakfast is 1/2 of an english muffin toasted with peanut butter - yummy!  The bad news is that was the last half of english muffins and now I don't have breakfast for my normal 7:30am breakfast time.  There's no hope for getting any more good sleep tonight.  If I do fall asleep I will finally reach that deep sleep about 5 minutes before my alarm goes off....which is about the worst thing that can happen!  So I obviously have a lot on mind, and I thought I would write it all out so maybe sleep will come tomorrow night.

I know things are going to change in a big way once the baby is born...but I really don't know how big, and since I'm not a mother (at least to a child outside of a womb) I know that I can't fully comprehend how motherhood/parenting will change our lives.  So here are the things I know/don't know:

1. I know that I am going to love my child a ridiculous amount, but I really don't know what that deep love is going to feel like.  I hear your heart grows the moment you meet your child, and it feels as if it's going to burst with love.  I am so looking forward to that moment of meeting our child!  
2. I know I will look back at this "sleepless night" and laugh with a delirious laugh that only comes from true sleep deprivation.  I don't know what true sleep deprivation feels like.  Unless you count my days at CHEERSPORT when we used to hand check crossovers on the schedule for 800 teams, work 18 hours days leading up to Nationals, and then work 20 hours days over Nationals...that was a drop in the bucket compared to some people's jobs.  That lasted only a few weeks not a few years...yikes!
3. This is one I don't want to admit one bit....so I'll rephrase it a bit.  I hear your dog gets essentially forgotten...eek!  I know Hans will inevitably not get the same amount of attention he gets now.  That's common sense.  Caring for a newborn takes a lot of time - but I can't imagine feeling left out of the family.  He is such a loyal companion and family member.  He makes us smile and laugh every day!  I am going to do my best in keeping up his pet/rub count and for his sake his daily treat intake : )  Petting him makes me feel better - it is very calming - I'm sure I'll need that calming mechanism...right?  Can someone back me up on this one?
4. I know caring for a newborn/baby is not all smiles, cuddles, coos, and have your "ice cream with a cherry on top" moments, however, I really don't know what to expect.  So for now, I'll keep reading my baby/parenting books and keep dreaming of those smiles and cuddles...no sense in dreaming of being drowned in diapers, cries, and spit-up...right?

I'm sure there are many more knowns/unknowns I could share with you, but I'll stop there.  If you read this much you at least deserve a picture to look at!  If you follow me on Instagram or you are my facebook friend you have seen these pictures (taken with iPhone, I believe I used my PicTapGo app to edit).  In honor of our first child, Hans, here is his portrait I had made for Sam's birthday.  It's a beautiful watercolor and I can't wait to hang it in the baby's room!

23 weeks

I thought I would give a quick pregnancy update.  I'm at 23 weeks (5 months along).  The crazy thing to me is that I am past the halfway point...and my to-do list to prepare for baby is just beginning!  Whew lots to do!  I'm excited about my Ikea trip tomorrow with my mom to upgrade my home photography office!  It seems every room in our house needs some sort of small change or organizational clean-out.  I'm trying to tackle all of the other rooms before the baby's room.  We have the baby's room empty which is a great feeling!  The crib should arrive shortly.  Once the crib arrives, the fun process can begin!  So here's a picture from 2 weeks ago at 21 weeks.  Around week 19, I went from that awkward stage of "is she pregnant?" to a definite yes, she is pregnant.  It's a great feeling!  The baby is doing lots of kicking and moving around, which is the coolest feeling.  Sam has been able to feel some kicks as well!  So here's my 21 week picture - and yes, Hans is making an appearance in all pictures - he is so good at posing for the camera : )

Ashley at The Biltmore

I definitely need to share more of beautiful Ashley with you.  We enjoyed a beautiful evening at The Biltmore Estate.  Except for all the rain, we are having really lovely weather in Asheville (the rain certainly is making everything super green!)!  We haven't reached the unbearable humidity and heat that comes with summer - you can really enjoy being outdoors when it's in the mid-70's.

I had to warm-up Ashley in front of the camera (which made me think back to my senior pictures).  I actually had my pictures re-taken.  The photographer kept making me smile without showing my teeth (which isn't how I smile)...he was trying to get semi-serious pictures of me...I don't get it.  Anyways, the poor guy delivered the proofs to us, and we didn't like one of them!  Technically speaking they were great pictures, but my smile didn't look like me.  Luckily, he did a re-shoot and they were much better the 2nd time around.  And luckily we got my re-shoot in about a week before I broke my nose in cheerleading practice.  

Enough about my senior pictures, here is more of Ashley!  She is headed off to NC State in the fall.

3.5 Generations : ) !!!

I guess this is sort of like my public announcement that I'm pregnant.  I didn't really want to make a big announcement - but I do want to share pictures with you along the way of my journey through pregnancy (now that's it's halfway over - I'm 20 weeks already).  Here's a picture from Mother's Day with my mom, my grandmother, and me.  I'm 16 weeks in this picture - for me I am showing - to strangers I probably just looked like I had a beer gut.

Sam and I are very thankful that every test and visit has been normal!  I really just walk away in more amazement from each doctor appointment - I finally feel at 20 weeks that this is really happening.  We will welcome our little baby at some point in October (hopefully October) - my due date is October 23rd.  

I don't know how much "mama updates" you want on the blog, but I will share with you that I have had a great pregnancy so far.  I can't really complain.  I had morning sickness in the first trimester but never got sick.  I was 8 - 10 weeks pregnant on our trip to Europe - prime time to deal with morning sickness and thankfully I felt great!  My biggest 2nd trimester symptom has been fatigue, but I think that is expected when your body goes through so many changes and is growing another human being!  Oh and one last thing to mention...we don't know if we are having a boy or a girl.  We had our ultrasound last and skipped that part - the ultrasound tech didn't find out and our doctor doesn't know either - it's not in my chart.  We are looking forward to welcoming a son or a daughter - either way will be so so exciting!

Senior Session: Ashley

I just had to post a picture from my senior session at The Biltmore Estate last night.  Meet Ashley : )  Classic American Beauty

P.S. I celebrated my 10 year high school reunion in November...wow!  Go Charlotte Latin Hawks!

House Update: Kitchen Light

Sam and I have been in our house for 3 years now.  It really takes a long time to get some things done around the house!  We've known since we moved in that we eventually wanted a light over our kitchen table....but it takes time to find the right light and then get it installed.  I knew I needed something simple in the kitchen - it couldn't compete with our huge antique butcher block (which isn't pictured below...sorry).

I first saw this light from Crate and Barrel and loved it, but it didn't come with the rubbed bronze finish that we needed to match our cabinet hardware and doorknobs.  Then I went on the hunt to find a light like this but offered in the bronze finish we needed.  I found this one at Restoration Hardware that offered the white linen and bronze finish.

 After cutting up paper in 2 different diameters and placing them on my kitchen table, I decided the smaller light would work for our table.  Although our table seats 6, it's not a large table.  It's narrow and not as long as most 6-seat dining room tables.  Luckily, this process of finding the right light, contemplating if this is really what I wanted, and then deciding on size took enough time that when I was ready to order a great sale popped up on lighting at Restoration Hardware!  Woohoo!  

So...after all that, here's the light in our house!  And my dear husband, Sam, did all of the drywall patchwork on the ceiling and wall after the electrician left (there was nothing there before the light, so holes had to be cut in the walls to install the light).

I wasn't taking the picture when the light needed to be on...

Here is a full view with the ceiling part, and with the light on.  My good friend Ruth has this same light over her dining room table as well!  I think she ordered the larger pendant though.  We are pleased with the light it gives off too - it has to be functional and look good!

Newborn Session: Hadley

I have been quite lucky to see Hadley many, many times since her newborn session and she is growing so fast!  It's just incredible how fast little babies grow!  My youngest niece is 5 1/2 months old and she is in that super cute stage where she can eat her feet : )  Oh to be that flexible!  Soon enough Hadley will discover her feet, but I know her mama would like to slow down time just a little bit!

Dad would swaddle Hadley and seconds later she would have her hands free - this girls likes to move!

Notice how her hands wiggled out of the swaddle!  Candi, the mom, said she now knows what the sucking feeling was when Hadley was in her belly...she was sucking her hands : )

I always love to see how the family dog interacts with a newborn.  Tallulah was very good, and I made sure to pay her extra attention.

We took several pictures in the rocking bassinet.  I don't have my details exactly right, but Mike, the dad, was put in this bassinet (and I believe his grandfather made it?? maybe).  It had deep family ties.  Hadley was great during her session, we were able to get pictures of her awake and asleep, and no tears were involved, which was even better!